~ She was Lillie, the beautiful daughter of her only father.

 ~ Maxims from the Chinese:

- The wise man thinks once before he speaks.

- A wish without the giver is bare.

- It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.

- The wise man moves fast, yet a great many times it is hard to catch him. This is because he has no soul. This is because he lives up there with all those radicals.

- Too much wisdom gets on the wise man's nerves. 

 ~ Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

 ~ In America there are two classes of travel - First Class and with children. Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.

 ~ In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders: we have to fight home competition."

 ~ Drawing on my fine command of the English language,...I said nothing. [In response to the person at Averell Harriman's house who said, "Say something funny, Mr. Benchley."]

 ~ There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest,...and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

 ~ When I started what you call "my career," I wore a size 14½ collar, did exercises to develop my chest, and had never had a drink. You ask if I feel different now? [In response to a reporter who asked if he felt any different now that he was a "success" than he did when he started his career.]

 ~ I heckle parlor game players from the sidelines. I throw stones and spit at the players. Hence the nickname "Sweet Old Bob," or sometimes just the initials.